Both books are amazing, and the focus is on teaching our children truth, not just controlling and limiting unwanted behavior. We are to direct them and teach them (and their hearts) God's ways. It is solid, biblical teaching.
These paragraphs from chapter 13 Instructing a Child's Heart are convicting for this mom, but it's important that I do not let conviction and guilt stop me from doing all I can do to be a godly mom. I can still strive toward the goal of teaching my children God's ways so that they can make the choice to follow Him. I feel that it is a terrific summary of the entire book.
"We don't shepherd our children to assure that our children will 'turn out right.' We shepherd our children to be faithful to the work God has given us. Consequences do not serve as power plays to prove our role or power or strength or to put the kids in their place for our convenience. They are designed by God to display the reality of God's ultimate rule in affairs of men and to extend mercy while there is time to repent and trust in God.
"Discipline is not an opportunity for us to show our children who is boss or hand out punishments that will change their behavior. Even when our consequences are appropriate and underscore God's truth and our standards, discipline is primarily an opportunity to remind our children of their need to repent and believe in Christ, and forgiveness and provision available from God through Christ. We are really declaring God's sovereignty and involvement with all he has created, offering relationship with God through Christ. Show them the beauty and goodness of confession to God and others, and warn them of the coming judgment for unbelief." ~Chapter 13, IaCH
If that speaks to your heart, and you desire to be a godly parent, consider either of these books (or the DVD seminar series...great for a group study) by Tedd Tripp. (In my opinion, IaCH has more application, but you may want to begin with SaCH. I'm glad I did. Both are invaluable resources for this mom. I seriously need to read SaCH again now that my daughter is not a toddler.) These books are invaluable resources, and I highly recommend them. For those of you who like audio books, like me, they are available in audio, too! Great for listening to as a couple!
Winner of the book of her choice is comment #2, Michelle! Congratulations!